January 29, 2002
Open Padlock

Solicitor’s meeting never happened. Got summoned to see a very different kind of solicitor instead. Long story which I won’t go into …

I notice that firms of solicitors are trying to appear trendy these days.

Picked up a small baggage padlock today from the floor in the platform at Ham tube. I can only guess it must’ve fallen from the zip or handle of a traveller’s holdall. It was in the unlocked position. Now it’s in my coat pocket. I don’t have the key - and I am really tempted to snap it shut - but I can’t bring myself to doing so. Without the key the consequence would be irreversible. And herein lies the temptation. I don’t know how long I can go around with this padlock in my pocket in its open state. I feel like I should snap it shut - but only in celebration of something. Anything. However, I can’t think of anything to mark the moment. I will keep it like that until the temptation becomes too great to bear. And then - when I finally snap it shut - I will cast it away - somewhere memorable - in memory of something that leaves me with that “no-turning back” feeling.

Tirades at one-o-clock in the morning. I feel like am taking too many risks these days. It’s only in the mornings when I re-read the emails that I sent the night before do I feel that it wasn’t so bad after all. Still - I can’t help feeling guilty.

My grammaw and your grammaw
Were sittin’ by the bayou
My grammaw tole yo gramma
I’m gonna set you flag on fiyo
Talk about hey now, hey now
Iko iko anday
Jockomo feena andan day
Jockomo feena-hay.

from “Iko, Ikoby” The Dixie Cups

Posted by jag at January 29, 2002 06:45 PM
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